


Be Okay

by CuriousBones



Category: Supernatural (TV)
Genre: Alternative ending included, Cheater Dean, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Reader finds out Dean cheated on her, Sad Dean, Sad Reader, Sam to the Rescue, Trigger Warning may apply to some
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 04:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7300324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousBones/pseuds/CuriousBones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cheating Trigger may apply to some:</p><p>You find out Dean cheated on you, and you leave. You continue hunting around the country, and begin to rebuild the walls you had put up before Dean, to make sure this never happens again.</p><p>***</p><p>'"Dean, who's Jillian?" His eyes widened in panic.</p><p>"J-Jillian? Um..."</p><p>"Are you cheating on me?" You asked, voice cracking. Dean hesitated, not knowing what to say, and that was all you needed.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What You Don't Have

"Dean, get down here; the movie's starting!" You hollered from the living room. You sat down on the couch, setting a bowl of popcorn on the table. Dean walked in, closing his phone. "Hey, babe, who were you calling?" You asked him as he pecked your lips, sitting down beside you and setting his phone on the table. You snuggled into his side, popping a piece of popcorn into your mouth. 

"Oh, just Garth about a possible case," Dean answered, looking at the screen. 

"What about?" You asked. 

"Just a possible haunting, he didn't really give me a lot of details. He said he'll probably check it out tomorrow, though." Dean said, pulling you to his side. You wrapped your arm around his waist, resting your head on his shoulder. 

*

Halfway through the movie, Dean got up to go to the bathroom. About thirty seconds later, his phone illuminated on the coffee table with a new text. Figuring it was Garth, you picked it up and flipped it open. 

*

Dean stepped out of the bathroom, walking back to the room where Y/N sat, frowning at the phone. His heart stopped. 

*

Y/N picked up the phone, flipping it open. The text message flashed on the screen, and she started to read it. Her heart jumped into her throat. 'This isn't Garth,' Y/N thought. 

 

'Hey Dean, I had a really great night with you. Wanna come over for another one?   
-Jillian ;)'

No, this had to be a wrong number. Dean could never cheat on you. You frowned at the phone, not noticing Dean stop in the doorway. 

"Y-Y/N?" Dean said cautiously. You looked up, on the verge of tears. 

"Dean? Who's Jillian?" His eyes widened in panic. 

"J-Jillian? Um..."

"Are you cheating on me?" You asked, voice cracking. Dean hesitated, not knowing what to say, and that was all you needed. You tossed the phone on the ground, hearing the screen crack. You stood up, tears threatening to spill, but you refused to let them. Instead, you let your hurt shine so brightly in your eyes you hoped it blinded him. 

Dean took a step forward. "Y/N, please, I'm sorry." 

"You think 'sorry' will suffice, Dean?" You asked, anger bubbling up and taking over the hurt. "You think I'm just going to forgive you with open arms? You know the kind of person I am. I don't associate with feelings easily or often. I don't let many people into my life like I let you. And I only let you in because I trusted you enough to. And you think I'm going to forgive you for taking advantage of that? What did I ever do to make you think this was an okay thing to do? This- this is not okay. Not even close. What- was I just not enough for you? Was I not good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, what was so wrong with me that you couldn't stand me being the only one in your life?" You set your jaw. Dean looked at you with pain and guilt in his eyes. You felt disgusted with yourself that you hadn't even realized it before. Your chest ached, your hands shook and your fingertips felt numb. "How long have you been cheating on me? Who even is this girl?" 

"She's no one, she means nothing, Y/N," Dean insisted. "Please, it was a huge mistake. I'm so sorry, I promise, I'll never do it again." You scoffed, shaking your head. You walked out of the room to the bedroom you and Dean shared. Used to share, you corrected as you pulled your duffle from under the bed and started tossing anything of yours you could find inside. Dean walked into the room, his eyes pleading. "Y/N, please! Please, you can't leave! I'm so sorry! It was a huge mistake that I promise I will never make again!" You ignored him, continuing packing. 

Dean touched your shoulder, trying to stop you, and you whipped around lethally. "Don't touch me!" You spat. Dean recoiled immediately, hurt and regret flashing through his vibrant peridot eyes. You zipped up your bag and stormed out of the room, and up the stairs to the front door. 

Dean raced after you, and set his hand on the door before you could pull it open. "Y/N, please. I can't lose you!" 

You looked at Dean, showing him all the hurt he had inflicted. "Dean..." He looked into your eyes, regret shining within those bright green orbs. "You can't lose what you don't have." Dean looked like he had just been stabbed in the chest with an angel blade. Without waiting another second, you brushed Dean's hand out of the way and yanked open the large door, slamming it behind you.


	2. Forgetting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you leave the bunker, you try to bounce back as soon as possible. You continue hunting to get your mind off of Dean, but the pain of his betrayal is still present in your heart. You're just starting to get better, when you get an unexpected visit...

Dean raced after you, and set his hand on the door before you could pull it open. "Y/N, please. I can't lose you!" 

You looked at Dean, showing him all the hurt he had inflicted. "Dean..." He looked into your eyes, regret shining within those bright green orbs. "You can't lose what you don't have." Dean looked like he had just been stabbed in the chest. Without waiting another second, you brushed Dean's hand out of the way and yanked open the large door, slamming it behind you. 

Dean just stood there, shock and pain intertwining inside him. He stayed like that, frozen, for a few moments, before the reality of losing you washed over him. He doubled over, falling to his knees, and let out a scream; pain, regret and loss ringing throughout the bunker. "No, No, No, NO!"

Sam rushed into the room, his gun in hand. "Dean, are you okay? What happened? Where's Y/N?" Dean didn't answer, he just stayed where he was, his shoulders shaking violently as his sobs overtook him. Sam slowly walked up the stairs, putting his gun back in its holster. "Dean? Where's Y/N?"

Dean wiped his eyes, and covered his face with his hands. "She's gone, Sammy." He said, his voice muffled by his hands. "I lost her."

"Wait, what? Dean, what did you do?" Sam asked, shocked that Y/N would have just up and left like that. What could Dean have possibly done? There was only one thing that would make Y/N leave like that- No. He couldn't have. "Dean, did you, cheat on her?" Sam asked, hoping desperately his suspicions were wrong. 

Dean didn't answer; he just cried harder. Sam's heart dropped. "No. You didn't. Not to Y/N. Dean, how could you?" 

"I made a mistake, Sam! It was a stupid mistake! I was drunk off my ass and I guess I must have given her my number. She texted me because she wanted to spend the night again; I guess she doesn't get what a one night stand means, and Y/N saw it. I'm such an idiot. I made a mistake and now I've lost the girl I love more than anything!" Sam looked at his brother sympathetically. He crouched down to Dean's height and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

"Dean, I'm so sorry." Sam said sympathetically. Dean looked up to him, his eyes puffy and his face was red and tear-stained. 

"Sammy, you need to help me." His voice shook as he looked at his little brother, now consoling him as Dean had done for him so many times. Sam smiled at him with that same sad look, sympathy in his eyes. 

***

You drove, nothing but miles of road ahead of you. You continued to refuse to let the tears roll down, keeping an eye on the road. 

A few hours later, you pulled into an old, beat-down motel by the name of Stay-A-Nite. You scoffed at the "original" name and walked into the lobby to check into a room. 

*

Sighing, you tossed your bag onto the bed and threw yourself beside it. Finally, you let the tears flow. 

Your sobs shook the bed as all the feelings you had stuffed down since earlier that night came flooding through, breaking your dams. 'Goddammit! How could you have been so stupid as to actually fall for him? You actually let your guard down and let someone into your life, and where did it get you, Y/N? In some shabby motel, hours away from where you wish you were now; curled up in your warm bed with Dean by your side. How could you have let him break down your walls? You built them for exactly this reason, and look what happened when you let them down? This is not going to end like this. Get a hold of yourself. He's just a boy.' You wiped away your tears, scolding yourself for letting this happen. You decided not to think about it, it didn't matter to you anymore anyway. The cheating incident, Dean, nothing mattered. 

However, suddenly, a wave of thoughts insisting the topic hit you, thoughts you would never have had if you hadn't let your walls down and let Dean in. 

'Is it my fault? Was I not interesting enough? Did I drive him to cheat? Was I so distant that I brought this on myself? Is this all my fault?' You broke down again, sobs overtaking your whole body as the dreadful thoughts enveloped you. 

You cried yourself to sleep that night. That was the first and only time you would ever let that happen. 

***

One month. It had been one month since you had left the bunker, and you were missing it. You missed the warmth of your bed, the comfort of being in the safe house. You missed the mapping table, the kitchen, you missed the huge library, you missed the gun range. You missed Sam. His big, warm, hazel puppy dog eyes. His warm hugs and kind smile. You missed the big moose, your best friend. 

You missed Cas, how he would always flutter in at the wrong times, or in the wrong place (right in front of you, squinting, practically breathing down your neck). You hadn't spoken with or contacted either man since you'd left. Sure, Sam and Dean had tried several times; Dean had called every day and Sam had left you numerous text messages wondering if you were okay and where you were. You had contemplated texting back, but you never did. 

You had ignored any means of contact from Dean without a second glance. 

Although, even if you ignored Dean's calls, you kind of missed him. But only a little bit. Only the good memories of him, the ones that hadn't yet been erased and replaced with the memory of him breaking your heart. No matter how hard you tried to forget him, or at least push him to the back of your mind- Dean had been such a big part of your life, and to have it end in such a horrible way, you wouldn't be forgetting about him for a long time, if not ever. 

You moved from town to town, working the stray cases you knew Sam and Dean would most likely leave to other hunters. Nevertheless, you were starting to do better. 

***

'Knock, knock, knock.' 

Your head snapped up at the late night knock. You reached for the pistol under your pillow, clicking off the safety of your gun. You took slow steps to the door and positioned yourself so you held the gun to the door, pointing it so if you shot, the bullet would go through the door and hit whoever was on the other side. 

You then opened the door, half your body behind it, and you couldn't believe your eyes.


	3. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final installment of the Be Okay story.

You took slow steps to the door and positioned yourself so you held the gun to the door, pointing it so if you shot, the bullet would go through the door and hit whoever was on the other side. You then opened the door, half your body behind it, and you couldn't believe your eyes. 

"Sam?" You smiled at the sight of your best friend standing right there in front of you. You looked behind him, spotting messy raven black hair and bright blue eyes. "Cas?"

"Hey, Y/N. How are you doing?" Sam asked you, smiling as well. You let the two men in, putting your gun on the table beside you. You then wrapped the 6'4 man in your arms, pulling him down into a well-needed hug. 

"Sam, I've missed you so much!" You said, gripping him tightly. He chuckled. 

"I've missed you, too, Y/N." Sam smiled at you with a goofy grin. You turned to Cas, wrapping your arms around his shoulders tightly. Cas simply stood still, his arms at his sides. 

"Cas, you're supposed to hug me back," you giggled. Slowly, the angel awkwardly rested his hands on your back, his elbows pointing way too far out for a normal, comfortable hug. 

"It is very good to see you again, Y/N," Cas spoke, his gruff voice rumbling into your shoulder. You laughed, then pulled away, biting your lip. 

"How's, um, how's Dean?" You asked, looking down to your shoes. Sam sighed. 

"He's, uh, pretty wrecked, Y/N. He really misses you. Look-" he said, catching the look you gave him. "-I know what you're thinking, but Y/N, he really regrets what he did. He told me why he did what he did, and yes, it was stupid, but he was drunk. He didn't mean to. People make mistakes, and sometimes, they're bigger than most people would consider okay. But, I think that everyone deserves a second chance. Especially when they really love you. And I know that Dean really loves you. He wouldn't have locked himself in his room, doing nothing but drink since you left if he didn't. He wouldn't have stopped hunting because he was so upset if he didn't. Please, Y/N, just give him a second chance." You looked up at this, shock in your eyes. Dean… loved you? He loved you enough that he hadn't hunted since you'd left? 

"You really think he loves me?" You asked, your voice just above a whisper. 

"I know he does." He answered. 

"Yes, Dean's feelings for you are the strongest I have seen in the better part of my existence. It is truly remarkable," Cas commented. You just stood there, shocked. Neither of you had said 'I love you'. You had known it for a while, but you had been waiting for Dean to say it first. When he had cheated, you had guessed he didn't feel the same, and that you weren't enough for him.

But then, a saddening thought came to your mind. 

"Then why did he cheat? If he really loved me, he would be more careful." You said harshly. 

"Y/N, I think that it was because he cared so much. I think he was so scared you didn't feel the same way, that he got careless. But Y/N, he needs you. If you saw him now, you'd understand what I mean. I mean, as soon as you walked out that door, he was a mess. Please, just give him a second chance." Sam's eyes were pleading, and you realized how wrecked Dean must be over you that it's caused Sam and Cas to come here, begging you to come back to him. 

"Y/N, if I may, Sam does speak the truth. Dean has not left his room since your absence, and his thoughts seem to be only of pain, remorse, and you," Cas said with a somber expression. "It is very painful to sense his thoughts and feelings lately."

You sighed, considering your options. "Please, Y/N. We need you." Sam repeated, his voice desperate. Looking into those puppy dog eyes you had grown up to know so well, you knew you couldn't say no to your best friend. 

"Okay. I'll come back. But not for Dean. For you guys." Sam's eyes brightened up immediately and he engulfed you in another huge moose-hug. 

"Oh, thank God! Dean will be so glad! Thank you, Y/N! We've missed you so much!" 

"Yes, Y/N, it has not been the same since your absence," Cas admitted, sporting the faintest of smiles. You giggled, letting go of Sam and grabbing your bag, tossing the stray things laying around the room inside. Sam held the door open for you, and you followed him to the Impala you had loved so much, Cas trailing close behind. 

***

You and Cas followed Sam down the hall do Dean's room, waiting outside the door as Sam knocked softly. 

"Dean? Someone's here to see you." Sam poked his head into Dean's room. Dean sat on the edge of his bed, holding his head in his hands, empty beer, whiskey, and other assorted types of bottles of alcohol littered around his feet. He looked up from his hands, eyes bloodshot and red, to look at Sam. 

"I don't want to talk to anyone right now, Sammy. Just leave me alo-" Dean's eyes rested on you as you stepped into the doorway. "Y-Y/N? You're back…" He looked at you like he couldn't believe you were real. 

"Yeah, Sam and Cas convinced me to come back." You said, looking at the floor. Dean stood up, staring at you with such love it made you want to tear down all your walls again. 

"We'll, uh, give you two some space," Sam said, backing out of the room and dragging Cas along with him. 

"I do not understand, Sam. There is already several feet's distance between us and them now," Cas said, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion as he followed Sam down the hall. You looked back to Dean. 

"Y/N…" Dean started. "I am, so sorry for what I did. I hurt you so bad. I'm so sorry, I was-I was drunk and-"

"Dean, Sam and Cas explained everything to me," you said, looking up to him. "And, they said that you, you love me."

Dean nodded, smiling at you lovingly. "And?"

"And, I want to make sure that you're never going to hurt me again before I answer." You said. 

"Y/N, I promise, I swear, I didn't mean to cheat on you. I was so scared that you didn't love me, that I got careless, and I let that get the better of me. I promise, I will never hurt you in any way, shape or form again." Dean looked at you sincerely. 

"Then, I guess it's time I tell you, that, I love you too, Dean." Dean smiled at you eagerly. 

"Really?" You nodded. Dean smiled even wider, before pulling you to him, crushing your lips to his. The kiss was calm, yet passionate, and his lips were soft. You tasted traces of the whiskey he had drowned himself in while you were gone on his tongue. 

Soon, you pulled apart, lungs gasping for air. After, you just stood there, resting your head on Dean's chest, enveloped in his strong arms. 

Things were going to be okay. Maybe they hadn't started out very smoothly, but you could see that it was going to get a lot better. For both of you. 

~ The End ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and feel free to leave constructive criticism or any found typos in the comments below!
> 
> There is an alternative ending in the next chapter for those of you looking for a more realistic ending. I know that most of the time, things don't end this way, but for some, they have a hard time leaving for good. I know that some people find it too hard to say goodbye, and they can't seem to realize that cheaters never change. I was looking to make two endings to show the two reactions people often have to situations like this. If you wouldn't give them a second chance, click the next chapter for an alternative ending with my (personal) preference on how to handle this kind of situation. 
> 
> Always keep smiling my lovelies :)
> 
> -CuriousBones


	4. Alternative Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternative ending where the Reader does not give Dean a second chance. Personally, I like this one better, because it's what I would do, but I wanted to include both very real possibilities of what people may do when put in this situation.

“Sam?” You were immediately engulfed by a huge hug by the younger Winchester, smiling widely at th sight of your best friend after so long. You looked over his shoulder. “Cas?”

The angel smiled fondly, and you hugged him too. You were so happy to see your two best friends that you had almost forgotten why they would be here. You backed away, smile disappearing from your face. “Why are you here? Did Dean send you? I don’t want to talk to him.” Sam and Cas seemed, to say the least, thrown off by your sudden change in mood, but decided to stop beating around the bush. 

Sam sighed. “Um, yeah- but Y/N hear me out first. I know what Dean did is inexcusable, but-“

“Sam, stop.” Of course Sam would be trying to make some excuse for what his brother had done. “I’m not coming back. You shouldn’t have come here.”

“No, wait- just please, Y/N, don’t do this. Please, come back- hear me out- not forever, but just to let Dean explain himself. You left right away, and he hates the fact that he never got to explain himself. You don’t have to stay, hell, you don’t even half to stay for more than an hour, but just let Dean properly talk to you. He’s bad right now, I mean, really bad. He’s drowning himself in alcohol every night and he never leaves his room. He needs some closure. I- wait, Y/N, where are you going?” 

You stormed out of the motel room, grabbing your keys from the table before you left. You jumped in your car and sped off down the road, leaving Sam and Cas in your dust.  
“Cas, where’s she going?” Sam asked, shocked by your sudden departure.

“She seems to be heading in the direction of the bunker,” Cas said. 

“Well, let’s go.”

***

You stormed through the bunker, stomping to Dean’s room. You banged on the door, not waiting for an answer. You slammed the door open, wrinkling your nose at the sight. Beer bottles lay scattered on the floor. Half a whiskey bottle sat on the cluttered night stand, and Dean was sitting up on his messed bed, wearing an old shirt and worn out sweats. He had heavy stubble covering his cheeks and chin, and bloodshot eyes. The stench of alcohol and body odor was painfully strong in the room, and you looked at Dean, disgusted. 

Dean looked at you in disbelief, mouth hanging open in shock. “Y/N?” He breathed. “What are you doing back?” He stood up, slowly walking towards you, but you held up a hand, telling him to stop. “You- you came back…”

“No, Dean,” you sighed. “I didn’t come back for you. I’m just so disgusted that you would manipulate your brother and friend into coming to bring me back for you. Look at yourself. It’s pathetic. Sam said you needed, what, closure? You, the one who cheated on me, need closure? Right. Well here’s your closure. Go on, tell me, what really happened? Why did you just have to cheat on me?” You were burning hot right now. Blood boiling and eyes glaring daggers, you were mad. 

Dean got that you meant business and got right to the point. “Y/N, I-I was on a hunt. That solo salt and burn I did a couple months ago. It was rougher than I thought it would be, and by the end of the hunt, all I wanted was to have a drink. I went to the local bar, and you know how I am. One beer can turn into two, three, you get the point. Some girl had been watching me all night, but I had ignored her, right? All night. But then, after a few too many drinks, she started to look more and more like you. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I woke up the next morning, and after I realized what I did, I bolted. I hated myself, I still do. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be so hurt. But it meant nothing. It wasn’t even intended. I’m sorry,” he breathed out. He looked at you, eyes pleading, but all you saw was red. 

“So, you’re saying blame it on the alcohol. You were drunk, it didn’t mean anything, right? Sure, let’s be fine now. Forgive and forget. You were only drunk, right? Thank God your severe dependence on alcohol is the only reason you cheated on me. At least it’ll never happen again, right? Great, everything’s okay now.” You clenched your jaw, feeling the anger web away. Now, as you looked at the condition Dean was in, as you looked at his room, all you felt was pity and disgust. “Dean, you have a problem. You need help. This… dependence on alcohol… The reason you cheated was alcohol, and then the fact that you turn to it again when you’re upset because of what it did, it just doesn’t make sense, and frankly, it makes it so likely that you might cheat again. 

“I’ve realized that I can’t trust you, I can’t trust the choices you’ll make when we’re not together, and I can’t trust how much you valued our relationship. You should have been more careful. You would have thought of me before ordering that next round. You should have thought of me when you saw that girl. You don’t value me as much as you should have, and now, as I look at you, I realize that you’re only upset because you feel ashamed. And, if I’m being honest, I feel sorry for you. Not sorry as in, I need to help you get back on your feet, but sorry as in, I realize that you aren’t someone I want in my life. Right now, you are not the person I was in love with. When someone is upset, they’re vulnerable, and you get a glimpse at their rawest side. And honestly, this isn’t something I think we can make work. We can’t fix this. You, you need help. But not from me. I’m sorry, Dean.”  
After your speech, Dean looked down in shame, unable to meet your eyes. “I’m going to go. And I’m not going to come back. I really hope you get better, Dean. I hope you can find something to turn to other than alcohol, because deep down, you have a good heart. And I don’t want to see you waste yourself away. But this, us, it’s not going to work out. You really hurt me, you betrayed my trust, and despite how much I loved you at one point, I can’t go through that again.”

“Y/N, please, I can change. I promise, I’ll be more careful. I’ll never do it again, I swear on my life,” Dean pleaded. You looked away.

“No, Dean. You can’t keep that promise, and I’m not going to take that risk. Take care of yourself,” you gave him a small smile, walking out of the room. 

As you walked down the hall, you heard a crash from Dean’s room, and you knew you had made the right choice. This wasn’t the Dean you had known, but in your heart, you knew this was the Dean you would have eventually come to know. People change, and not always for the best. You still felt pain in your heart from the betrayal of Dean’s actions, but you felt no loss as you walked out the door. 

You knew you would be okay. This was for the best, and you only hoped Dean would eventually come to see that. As you drove off, you passed Sam and Cas, who were speeding to the bunker, probably having followed after you when you left the motel, but you didn’t stop. 

You expected to feel some sort of sadness wash over you at the thought of never seeing Dean again, but as you remembered the rawness of him that you had seen that day, you realized things would have never been okay had you given him a second chance. Odds are, we would have probably cheated again given the chance, and your relationship would have never lasted. But things weren’t always meant to last. As you drove down the highway to nowhere, feeling no loss in your heart, you realized, you were going to be okay. 

~The End~


End file.
